JuStThinKingAlOuD

Found out something really magical today, well not really magical…I think that would be an exagerration…

June 2, orientation. Just outside Malcolm theater. Around 10 am. Lines were formed for sections A-D. I was lost and a bit tardy. Fell in line but I wasn’t sure if I was in the right section…I recall asking the one in front of me whether this was the line for section D but I don’t remember what his reply was or who the person was…Today I found out…The guy remembered. Take a good guess…

Just realized how happy I am to have risked getting hurt, to have trusted something uncertain, to have hoped, to have taken that step amidst the doubts… Otherwise, I would have still been stuck in a rut, stuck with all the lies and insecurities, disguised as air…forever wondering if I’m hearing the truth or not, if that really happened or not, if I’m hearing mere flatteries or genuine feelings…All talk, no action…

Now I hear the TRUTH…that hurts sometimes but what the heck, it’s the truth…no false assurances, no flowery words, no empty promises. It can be frustrating sometimes because flatteries and assurances are actually addicting…but looking back, these seemingly amazing scripts are what get to you when something goes wrong…they keep you hanging…they are what bothers you…they’re just words…

Actions are now enough to get me by…no need for any other antic…

I LOVE YOU NAD…

I just made a crucial decision yesterday…around 1 am be exact…I’ve been praying hard that I make the right decision and a few minutes after, it was very obvious that I did…Thank God!!!

Yesterday, I went out with my High School friends…I missed them so much! just realized that there’s been so many changes in each of us  but one thing still remains, the bond among all of us…Grabe guys kakasenti…hehehe.Labas ulit tayo…

I was forewarned…my friends cautioned me about It…but somehow I fell into Its trap…The moment I was introduced to It, I had an inkling I would be stuck…I told myself I’d only try, see if It suits me, check whether It’s right for me..All the while, I was wishing and hoping that It wasn’t right…that I might end up liking It…
At first, It was cooperative…the more time I spend with It, the more I realized It wasn’t right for me…It was too demanding, too aggressive, too depleting….I wasn’t attached so what the heck?! Who cares if It wasn’t right for me? There are plenty of other options to choose from.Then by a stroke of chance (or misfortune actually), things became different…I was actually looking for It, looking for the challenge, looking for the tension…AND I ended up liking It…I forgot prior commitments, stable assurances, promises…I ended up being devoted to It…and finally considering this just might be the right one for me…And I’m scared…and confused…It has created so much chaos in my mind AND heart…How this will all unfold, I wouldn’t know, I wish I did though…I feel guilty…I feel lost…What the heck?What have I gotten myself into…

I miss blogging! heehee. My computer has been out of order for the longest time and sadly, I have been unable to blog. The readings are killing me. Seriouosl, if the brain was a muscle and thinking and understading readings can be considered as an aerobic exercise, my head would be swollen by now and I would be stick-thin. More than ever, my mind is at work nowadays. And it’s not just the readings…I’ve been worrying about a few things here and there as well that have no connection whatsoever with law…At least, there’s one big load off my back. We won’t be meeting Mr. L this week since we met him last Monday and yes, I was called to help out a classmate. I was reciting the facts and everything was going well until I blurted out that I forgot the provision. =p Miraculously, he was very kind and just let me sit down without shouting. I think he has plenty of things to think about right now which explains his good nature hehe. I’m actually in no mood to write whcih a lot of you could very well tell based on my thoughts in this nonsense blog…as for my worries, I’ll be sharing them some other time. Until then, please pray for the swift recovery of my dear old computer…

WEEEEEEEEE…Another "Mr. L-free" day! Days like these should be celebrated…Well our block didn’t actually celebrate. We just went out to lunch together which is already a luxury to be savored… We proceeded to Sarah’s to chug a bottle of beer…

I experienced something new today…I finally got to use the Bong! But sadly I also discovered it’s quite tricky to use for a first-timer hehe…I’ve always enjoyed drinking however I have not had the chance to use such apparatus in parties since it’s usually guys who subscribe to this form of drinking so at parties, I usually pass…The block entered a vice relay contest and I was one of the "lucky" representatives. It was quite humorous that I didn’t know how to maneuver the Bong so the beer kinda spilt all over me, more of sprayed…Embarassing but a worthwhile experience…Sadly we lost…How could we have won when the first station was a game of chance?Maybe I’m just being a sour loser hehe but nevertheless there’s no harm in complaining… But it was fun and the fact that the block was game, it was actually rewarding just to participate…oh and yes, the block got to keep the Bong…I might just buy one for myself hehe.

ONE MORE DAY TILL I SEE HER…Isn’t she so cute?

I know the title is grammatically wrong so my apologies. Yes, the past tense of sting is stung, if you’re talking about the verb but if you’ve been stung by Sting, then you’ve been Sting-ed…nyeta ang corny…Moving on, I’ve been a fan of Sting since childhood. Blame it on the fact that I grew up with siblings who are way older than me and feel as if the 80s was the best thing that ever happened on Earth. I can’t quite agree on that but that decade did bring about something relevant…guess who?!

Why do I love Sting? It’s not just about his music anymore, it encompasses even his personality already…Let me count the reasons…

10. He has around 10 houses or something all over the world — I know this is irrelevant, who cares di ba? This guy loves to travel and explore cultures, that’s why.

9. He’s devoted. He’s been married to the same woman, Trudie Styler for ages…well, ok not ages. Around 20 years I think. Which is a big thing in Hollywood right?

8. He writes! I haven’t read his book yet though…no time dammit.

7. He was an English teacher before becoming a famous singer.  I find it admirable that some entertainers and musicians had previous jobs other than acting or singing. It shows talent and versatility.

6. He’s not just a singer, he’s musically inclined. He can play some piano. some guitar and once, I even saw him playing this weird piece of instrument…

5. His lyrics are deep and profound. Many of them have meanings that are embedded in the words. He writes some songs that are also socially relevant which is a rarity nowadays.

4. He came from a successful band but became a success as a solo artist. Very few artists coming from groups or bands can truly say that they were able to make it as an individual in the music world…

3. He does collaborations with other artists, makes songs for movies and does renditions of his songs in French, Spanish, Portugese and Italian, amazing!

2. He sang my future wedding song…I mean wedding dance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to get married in the near future. but the first time I heard the song  MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE, that’s the first thing that popped inside my head. If I could just put a patent on it, I would hehehe.

1. He’s over 50 and he’s hot. Enough said.  (who said number 1 had to be relevant?!)

Before anything else, I’d like to apologize to the people who have been affected by my previous entry. Some people have come up to me disturbed and distraught. Maybe it’s because I don’t really lash out like that and generally I am a peaceful person. That is true but there are really times that I’m provoked to act otherwise…and believe me it takes a lot to get me fuming but when I do, good luck…

On that note, it’s my turn to be disturbed. I’d be facing a humongous demon tomorrow…the fear brought about by a certain Mr. L, I’m sure my blockmates know who he is since we share this common phobia…I’m praying to the high heavens that he doesn’t terrorize me as much and if ever he does (which I’m so sure he will achieve eventually), that I don’t break down and burst into tears while he’s shouting…heehee.All my Wednesday nights are bound to this routine of fear…Wish me luck…

Yes literally

You will go through the flames for him

why?

Cause you both will burn in hell!

Be scared, be very scared

Right now,

You may be enjoying

all the lush resources,

all the blinding wealth

all the fancy cars and jewelries

all the “alta de sociedad”

Karma has a way of popping when you least expect it

Aren’t you ashamed of what you’ve done? 

It brings shivers down my spine

thinking about how you could pull off something that

Conniving and Damaging

Betraying people who have sacrificed for you, who have shed sweat and tears for you…

You claim nobody really cared for you or loved you

Your claims are false…that is up until now…

Because with the Monster that you have become, you are not worthy…you hear?

You may have reduced your size

But in the process…

You have become

A pig, vile and disgusting in its ways and habits…

YOU ARE NOTHING!

Burn like there’s no tomorrow,

Continue to live in cold-blooded

SIN…

My conscience is clear…

Can you say that about yours?